Honestish reviews.

Best $5 I've spent this year, including the parking ticket I got while eating here. Worth it.

I would testify in court on behalf of these tacos. $5, no seating, no notes. Everything else is cosplay.

Room view is a wall that has really committed to being a wall. Slept great, felt nothing — basically a hotel compliment.

Perfectly fine in the way a beige rental car is fine. You're paying for the zip code and you know it.

Garlic knots are a public safety hazard in the best way. I dream about them, unfortunately.

The slice is great and the staff know it. Nowhere to sit, so you eat it on a curb like an animal, happily.

Nobody films themselves and the sales guy didn't try to sell me my own funeral. Five-star behavior, four-star sauna.

Actually good, which is annoying because I wanted to be funny about it. One machine has said "coming soon" since birth.

Influencer backdrop, restaurant second. The coffee was great, which somehow made everything else more insulting.

Paid $18 for a salad that was mostly regret and two croutons doing the work of a whole personality.

The wifi password is longer than the drink menu is good. Bartenders lovely, DJ thinks bass is a personality.

Rooftop views, but the fog charged cover too. $12 for a beer that was also surprised to be here.